Although Bad Bob Baker, Sonot Kkaazoot race director, told stories in the Birch Hill stadium for almost 4 continuous hours Saturday, he missed one intriguing story involving Jerome Jackson, SCUM overachiever.
Jerome, a former Junior Nordic coach and volunteer coach for the West Valley XC team for decades, had skied the long Sonot Kkaazoot 12 times before this year. Jerome was well-tapered before the 32nd Annual Sonot Kkaazoot. During early bib pick-up at the Doyon, Ltd. building, he rested on a couch, while Sarah Jackson waited in the line to retrieve her dad’s race bib.
On race day, Jerome situated himself near the back of the 30 km field, and got through the tangle of bodies and ski equipment at the bottom of the first sweeping turn of the North 40 trail unscathed. The trails were wicked fast so Jerome didn’t have to over extend himself. After completing all the Black Loops, Jerome claims that he was distracted by seeing Tom Helmers on a snowmachine so instead of turning right and heading down the Blue Loop, he skied over orange lines painted on the snow and through orange cones and/or V-board to ski out the relay to the Outhouse Loop. Somewhere along the Outhouse or Sunnyside Trails, Jerome realized his error, and confessed his crime when his SCUM mother saw him leaving the Outhouse Loop en route to skiing the missed Blue Loop.
The Jackson Jury reenacted the crime on Sunday to determine what Jerome’s time might had been had he followed Bad Bob’s course markings.
Dermot Cole, whose Sonot finish time was the closest to Jerome’s was selected to ski the extra distance that Jerome would have traveled by skiing Outhouse before the Blue Loop. We had skied the Black loops Sunday so the time and distance on his legs were similar to those Jerome would have had on Saturday.
Then the jury deliberated after studying the new evidence acquired:
The jury verdict: Jerome Jackson was guilty of assaulting the official Sonot Kkaazoot race course (or alternatively, was guilty of being the highest achieving SCUM in the 32nd Denali State Bank Sonot Kkaazoot), and thus, deserving of “big wood” recognition from Bad Bob.